Monday, April 26, 2010

Rain and Mondays

Rainy Mondays tend to be horrible for most people. So i try my best to make every Monday the best possible day. It sort of sets a mood for the entire week.

I originally had plans to go to see Sweeney Todd with a few friends of mine but I got a call from CBW that today was the volunteer appreciation dinner. So i decided to ditch the play and get food first with Susmita and Rajib instead , the coolest people ever, and hang out. It's always nice to catch up with friends.

I got a chance to walk around lower east side in the rain with a friend and just talk, the rain is actually quite peaceful.

The dinner was nice, seeing all the old faces and new faces. Awards were given out and my good buddy Rafael got Volunteer of the year at CBW with a whopping 1400 hours. Including a pin from RIF and a gift card to Models. Eunice forgot to put in the card. Seeing myself a year ago, I wouldn't have believed I would be part of such an amazing literacy team. I remember when it was just a few of us reading to kids in the waiting room, trying our best to do a book fair or club with 4-5 people and chilling until the health center closed every time.
It was good times and I hope to continue it :)

I gotta feeling this is going to be a good week :)
No need for any drama, games, douchebags... just pure fun and chilling with friends.
Expect to see me wasted each day

its late

It's a quarter after one and i need you now!
i whipped out my harmonica, started playing some mellow tunes.
damn this ap english homework is getting to me.
i'll bring my little hotmetal harmonica to school sometime :)

the first song i ever played
my neighbors love it

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Sunday, April 25, 2010


I woke up early today to roll down into China town. Yes, china town... canal street exactly.

I walked into Charles B.Wang Community health center, the place where I received my internship, to volunteer with the Literacy team's monthly book clubs.
I've been with the team for a year now and its been a great experience. I worked with children and toddlers, teaching them how to read, translating in between chinese and english. It is a very fulfilling experience. I met some great people and made great friends. Friends whom I haven't seen since january that i gotten to seen today. I think the last time I saw them was on my birthday. I am definitely going to help out more as my schedule is no longer as hectic. Tomorrow is volunteer appreciation day, which I think is later in the day...
I was able to catch up with everyone and walk my friend home, it was nice because i really havent caught up with anyone. I hope we all still keep in touch when we move on to college.

I passed the burnt down block near Grand St today, it was crazy to see the havoc that a fire can cause... it made me think about any lives that were lost and lives that were ruined... mother nature at it's worst...

Some things we don't talk about
better do without
just hold a smile
we're falling in and out of love
the same damn problem

together all the while
you can never say never
why we don't know when
time and time again

Taking action

It's been a while since I've written. Amidst school, friends, volunteering, rapping, writing I have been trying to stay sane. But schools almost over! Relief! but sadness.
Make new friends, and barely seeing old friends. Damn, I just realized I'm going to be 7 hours away. Well... 7 hours isn't much right? No it isn't. Just a ticket ride away from home. Just a call away from the city. All 300 miles...

I learned somethings today...
than i need to take action, i always like to believe i do... but sometimes i don't.
Sometimes i say i would, but i don't. Fear, nervousness and FEAR again gets in the way.

Fear of what? why is there even fear. I believed i feared nothing, after all my life experiences i thought i would fear nothing, i would think i have nothing to lose... but then i would think i realize i do.

The fear of loss. but loss is better than not knowing isn't it?

I've never asked God for guidance, i lost my faith in God long ago, when i was barely 13... i stopped believing. I started to live on my own and seeked guidance from barely anyone. But lately, ever so lately ive began to find Him again. But i know its all up to me

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


I feel like I'm falling into a maniac state that people hate, a detrimental mind state and now I'm trying to contemplate, but my friend miriam tells me to wait. But edwin tells me its alright, don't be in such a fright, things are going to go your way tonight. What the hell do i believe? I don't know, i think its time to go.
move along, move along, like that freaking song. damn.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Sunny, when i was younger

Me and Michael, sitting outside my old house
back in Jackson Heights when i was just 5
came here in 97
mama and papa were struggling
just to make a living
papa worked hard
worked two jobs
working from 9 to 5, 3 to 7
having no life, just struggling to be surviving
back then i didn't know about play
cause in those days
it was rough times
and no one lived a life like mine

it was a ham sandwich every day for lunch
but back then i was younger
and ate anything to sate my hunger
there wasn't much in this little town
but mama and papa helped me get out without a frown
helped me carry myself
and looking back now
I'm happy we got through it
cause it was crazy

Papa hit the jackpot in '05
the biggest thrill of my life
out of this place
rid of these days
escaped from devils
from the dreaded bible

goodbye Anna we loved ya
goodbye Peter we'll miss ya
goodbye Sunny you were my best buddy
but i gotta get out of this place unscathed
you know i would never leave ya, always will be with ya
but these times are different, and i got a life of mine, and i gotta lead it

but im back now
and looking around
things have changed
Anna and Peter, I see you your okay
living into the old age
Sunny you aren't who you use to be
the innocent boy that could see
all the things wrong
but i guess that's gone

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Carry this world

My little girl
tell me what its like to carry this world
to be alone
walking into to the streets unknown
girl aren't you scared about whats out there?
All the things that can happen, all the things forgotten
but I guess we have to
cause its the life we live through
Now pack the suitcase
We're gonna run out of this place
Cause mama and papas out the door
and they're never gonna be together anymore

Everything will just be right
little girl don't be in such a fright
we'll make it out alive
I'll do everything to make sure we survive
we'll have the life we wanted
not flaunted, by mama and papa's habit
I'll make sure of it

Little girl please don't cry
don't you see the fireflies
They're lighting up this world
Whirling, swirling, twirling
Please please
tell me your fine
and that this isn't the time

I'm on the speedway cruising at 95
thoughts racing, I'm praying
wondering if she'll be alive
please don't go yet little girl
there was so much to see in this world
you don't deserve this, they made us seem so worthless
I'm going crazy with the anxiety
that comes to me
I hear these voices in my head
giving me choices
dreams with her on her death bed
I can't take it, I'm out of the door
but every step I'm taking
I'm missing her more
I don't know what to do anymore
God give me an answer
get rid of this cancer
I turn around and I see her coming
running towards me
but its nothing more
than a vision
a breeze passing my feet
such a beautiful girl
but she'll never ever see the world
and now I'm sitting in my empty house
wondering how it happened
And asking
did I know what I was doing?

Haven't posted in a while.

I haven't been on blogspot for a while. Been busy, but I'm back. Past few weeks have blown by so quick, vacation is coming up soon, and theres no school tomorrow due to snow day! So what have i been up to? I've been writing a lot, poetry, rhymes and a bit of rap. Working on my chess game, free styling, and a bunch of other things. I did pajama day for school... which was boxer day for me. It was fun and comfortable. Cross dressing day is coming up, and I have a job interview that day... so no cross dressing for me! My math teacher was saying how we wont have another snow day for another 5 years... but i'll be out of school! :)

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A week of what....

I'm thankful for an entire week off! So much to do... but what? I finally fixed my computer, turns out it wasn't a motherboard problem but a ram problem. Gee could saved 80 dollars! Next time I am definitely bringing it to a repair guy...

I don't really know what I have to do, sure I got AP bio homework and exam... but that isn't really important.
Financial Aid will probably take a few days, but thats about it. I NEED PLANS!

Theres a few things I'm looking forward to though. I'm going to get to be a interviewer for the CSLP internship! It was the internship I was part of last year from March to September. In February, I'm helping out at a book club and Chinese new year celebration for the Literacy Team at Charles b. Wang! Volunteering is fun, especially when you do it with people you enjoy being with.

I played 7 chess games today. My brain hurts ! I'm off to bed!

Saturday, January 23, 2010


Accepted into my safety school Buffalo State. Not bad!  I have a school I have a definite chance of going to :)
I really want to get into Fordham or University of Rochester...

 I'll get more results in late February or May.

I've been playing some heavy chess on chesscube, finally beat a few people!

Regents break is coming up, can't wait! Still need to fix up my gaming computer though

Thursday, January 21, 2010

"God does not determine the future, the future determines God."

The week went by so quick. I have one final math final exam tomorrow and then I will be a 2nd term senior. Smooth sailing from there! Well kind of... not really! I've been playing chess alot more. Getting destroyed isn't fun, but I'm learning. I've started to read some philosophy books again and I came upon a very interesting quote
"God does not determine the future, the future determines God". This made me think : what is the future, does the future exist, does time exist? I believe the quote is true to an extent. When things happen, we attribute it to God. We are the ones who control our future. What happens happens. I'm also debating with myself whether time exist. Is time real? Isn't the future the same as now? Time is a mental thought created by humans. Animals seem to live perfectly fine without it. If time doesn't exist, then what are we living in now? Is now the same as the present, pass and future?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Finally 18

Just turned 18 on friday! OH the possibilities! and OH the restrictions! But I am happy! Also a little confused about what has happened in my last 18 years! OH highschool is almost over! Had a celebration on saturday (yesterday)! Pretty fun! 13 people showed up and we sang and ate, my friends met my other friends! A weird group of people. 4 others couldn't make it, but it was okay! I got to see some people I haven't seen for a while, and my friend Mike dominated in Karaoke!

I want to buy a lottery ticket!

Monday, January 11, 2010

This is going to be an insane WEEK!

 Kicked off monday with common time and buffalo wild wings with a bunch of friends.
Realized one of them was a really good chess player, and one of them was really really realy cute ;D

Wednesday is the Tech Vs Erasmus Basketball Game. 200+ attendees, we're going to be crazier than college basketball fans! BLUE DUNGEON! Blue body paint anyone?

Friday is my birthday, and saturday is the celebration. This is gonna be insane!

I must sound hyped up.

Wait i have a math quiz tommorow!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Stressful week over!

I had the most stressful school week. I am so glad it is over. It was even more stressful than my college applications. The trouble sleeping, bad dreams that didnt allow me to fall asleep, the home work, the train delays, and the breaking down of my printer. It was horrible. Thank God it's over. Friday, me and a few friends got something to eat and played basketball. Thats right! Basketball in the freezing cold. 3 on 3 half court and lots of slipping and gliding. We're idiots :)

My friend is suppose to come over today to help fix my computer. Hopefully he does! I've recently started playing chess again! Let me know if you want a game!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Psychology. Maybe someone can help me finish?

280 days ago... or more. I composed a little guide about depression and psychology.,-A-guide-to-its-usefulness

I never got to finish it. Maybe i should. But it has been so long.
During the time I wrote it, a few friends of mine had died and I felt the guide would be useful for many people who felt depression or may gain some inspiration through my work.

Hopefully whoever reads it now will still find something useful in it.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

50 got a little meat

I just need to say that todays basketball game against Bedford was intense. Even though we lost by 5, it was a great game and it was the first game I went to. Zach and Mike and their naked white crew riled up the crowd and got everyone chanting for tech. We even made fun of #50 on the other team when he shot free throws. "50s got a little meat!" People were rolling on the floor laughing in real life.

Monday, January 4, 2010


I thought about prom.. second guessing myself. I mean who am i gonna ask? Is anyone gonna say yes? I'm thinking of asking someone and shes a nice person and a good friend, I don't know how they'll react. I can't dance that well.. and I never asked anyone to a dance! I'm scared!


What a way to start off the monday. The nigh before today the student tech community was informed that our school was going to be shutdown for a few days due to construction accidents. However it turns out it was a hoax and someone had hacked into the assistant principal's email. If only we really had the day off... if only if only!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Ice Skating ! A good way to start off my year,

So yesterday I went ice skating at Bryant Park. It wasn't planned. I originally had to volunteer in chinatown with my friends. But afterwards while I was going home, my friend Tammy called me and asked me to go ice skating at Bryant Park. I decided to go even though I was suppose to go home. I haven't seen my good friend in a while so it wasn't a choice for me to say no. I waited online cause I got there first. My feet felt frozen but it was so worth the wait. Ice skating was fun... even though I was so bad. I only fell once over the 3 hour period, which is a big accomplishment for me! Not bad for a beginner eh? Well I kinda feel bad cause most of the time someone held on to me! Anyways so when I got home my dad tells me that he was a amazing ice skater and he should have went with me. Big suprise! Maybe we'll go another time.. But anyways, Ice skating was a great way to start my great year

Oh my birthdays coming up. I NEED PLANS

Friday, January 1, 2010

2010! Happy New Years

Happy New Years. 2010!
I actually made a small list of resolutions that I am going to try to accomplish
-Be a better friend
-Spend more time with my friends
-Help out my sister more on her academics
-Volunteer more (Ima slacka!)
-Draw better and take some art classes
-Help out with the household chores
-Learn to cook
-Get a 90+ average on my final report card
-Ask someone out for the Prom
-Write a short story

Its a long list, hopefully I can accomplish them.